Ways to Frame Grief

Rachel Cheer, Ordained Celebrant and Soul Midwife, looks carefully at a pink rose.

As I sit down to write this, it is a ludicrously hot, cheery, hopeful sort of a day, especially for April in Scotland. Is it a bit weird to consider grief? I don't think so.

For one thing, as anyone who has been bereaved will tell us, this stare of loss is oblivious to the weather. But I would like to take this opportunity to consider grief from a wider perspective. Any time we lose anything, we can experience grief. Our temper. Our keys. Our relationships. Our loved ones. It seems to me, from personal experience, that the way we frame these times, can positively or negatively impact our residual feelings around it. 

One of the most useful tools I can recommend is to approach the loss situation in the same way as we would ideally approach an end of life process. This is gently, prioritising sitting with our feelings, with love and compassion, and slowly. This allows us to acknowledge and feel the swirling emotions, rather than trying to unhealthily quash them. It also allows for our hearts, minds and nervous system to catch up with the new reality. You can tailor this to suit. If you've lost your glasses, it's likely to be a much shorter process than if you've lost your lover. Acknowledging change can't be rushed. But done mindfully, feeling grief, of any type, can be less detrimental for our souls. 

What is your experience of grief? 

Photo Credit Rickford Lyndon Evans