I’m just taking a little opportunity to bust some myths around rituals, what the word means, what they actually are and why we might choose to incorporate them in our lives and ceremonies. I feel that sometimes people are nervous about the term!
My first go to place for any investigation is the dictionary. If you visit RITUAL Definition & Meaning | Dictionary.com you will see that the definition of ritual covers many things, including religious rites and practises, but also social expectations and everyday patterns of behaviour. Have you realised that every time you shake hands with someone or even brush your teeth, you are undertaking a ritual act? You can read more here: Ritual | Religious, Cultural, & Social Practices | Britannica.
My point is that we don’t need to be nervous about rituals. In my work as an Ordained Celebrant and Soul Midwife, we use rituals all the time to create bonds, promote healing and establish new ways of moving forwards in life. Did you know that the exchange of rings in a marriage ceremony is a ritual? This is one we are all familiar and comfortable with. What about ceremonially washing the body of your dead loved one? This one used to be a societal norm, but we are more cautious these days, although it brings so much peace and acceptance and helps create a better grieving process.
I was trained as a celebrant by the phenomenal Veronika Robinson (Celebrant Training UK) and she always speaks about rituals being like the illustrations in a story book, bringing colour and depth to the printed word. Rituals are just phenomenal to my mind! They add texture, meaning and beauty to what we do in life. Perhaps you are inspired by traditional rituals such as gifting flowers at a time of celebration to a dear friend. But perhaps you love, like me, the idea of creating bespoke rituals which create a bond or establish a new intention. I once had a wedding couple who fed each other a piece of doughnut during their ceremony. This represented the nourishing of each other, the sweetness of their love and their ability to work together.
The thing about rituals is that you can’t get them wrong. They can be as simple or as complicated as suits our taste. Layers of meaning can be added, for example, by incorporating different plants and flowers, all of which have bring their own qualities and gifts. Indeed, daffodils are good for forgiveness, whilst roses are perfect for love.
But why, I hear you ask, do we need to have rituals, Rachel? Is it just to add visual interest and tangible activities to our ceremonies and lives? Whilst these things important, ritual does so much more. It helps us to establish new neural pathways in our brains. Literally, we can re-wire our thoughts. Let us return to one of our first example, that of shaking hands. When we do this, we connect with another human on a much deeper level and create a bond. Our brains can also glean a great deal of information from the brief meeting of hands, to do with energy, purpose and compatibility. In a totally different example, when we use ritual in a healing ceremony to overcome trauma, we can help the brain to process old information in new ways, thus releasing the grip of the hurtful experience and searing pain. Also think how much duller our world would be without birthday cakes, our tailored morning coffee routine or that specific way we like to hang clothes in the wardrobe. These are all rituals, and they bring clarity and intention to our day. It’s hard to ignore the fact that us humans need ritual! And I, for one, am glad about that!
To talk to me more about ritual and ceremony, please pop a comment on here or email rachelcheer@hotmail.co.uk.
With love and magenta blessings
Rachel xxx
Photo credit Rickford Lyndon
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